See, the thing is, for the photographer that specialises in capturing and bottling up the everyday life, I have remarkably little photographs of my own family.
When I was growing up I was absolutely convinced I was adopted because the 10 year old me saw no other logical reason as to why there were a lot of photos of me, but my parents were never in the family pictures. Like ever.
Now as a grown up with my own child I notice the trend.
My nan, bless her, absolutely refused to have her picture taken because she was “wrinkly and unpretty”. I have zero photographs of her doing things, because she would notice the camera right away and cover her face. She passed away 2 years ago and the only thing I have of her last year is snapshots, posing with a bunch of flowers. I thought I’d have more time to “do it properly”. I would love to have had more pictures of her playing with her only great-grandson, and spending time with him in her summer house, but alas, that’s not to be.
My mum, in turn, pulls an extremely serious “annoyed accountant” face every time she sees a camera pointed at her (and that is, within seconds of me trying to capture a sweet moment between her and my 5 year old son Sasha). Again, she tells me she’s not looking her best – and it breaks my heart.
So, on our most recent trip to Stockholm (that’s kinda the middle ground been Russia where she lives and the UK where I live, so we meet up there sometimes) I hired a photographer to capture our morning – me, my mum and my son Sasha, as we explored the city together. I told my mum it was about me, that I wanted to be in the pictures with her, and that was met with… no objections whatsoever!
Despite it being -15C (notice the layers in the photos below ?!) it was the best decision I’ve ever made. My very camera-aware mother soon forgot she was being photographed, and just concentrated on spending time with me and her grandson.
Photos by Caroline Holt
The result? I have gorgeous, candid photographs with both me and my mother in them, and we actually look good in them too (the power of forgetting the camera is even there). Next job: put a photobook together to we can look through the pictures often.